My mind is starving,
My heart is craving,
My thoughts freezing,
As I try to comprehend this beauty,
That leaves upon me pity.
This beauty that rivals the Monalisa in all her glory,
This beauty that caresses every part of my body.
Healing all my wounds and piecing all the fragments of my crushed heart.
I really can’t comprehend this beauty,
That sweeps me off my feet, down to my knees.
And makes me a beggar…Comprehend
Wakes me up every morning and soothes my every dream…Beautiful!
I can’t really comprehend this beauty.
That leaves your silhouette, on my sandy thoughts.
Dropping my jaws like the autumn leaves.
Brightening my face like the summer skies
And freezing my thoughts like the winter snow.
Don’t wake me up from this slumber, if at all it’s a nightmare,
Don’t liberate me from this struggle, if at all am a prisoner,
Don’t cure me of this malady, even though contagious.
Because I want to feel this beauty
Live it and Hold it…
“In as much as your beauty leaves me breathless and speechless,
It also leaves me thoughtless and pulse less”
Friday, 10 May 2013
The Silhouette
A HAUNTED HOME
Peace, Love, Unity and Democracy…
Values we once upheld with pride and dignity
In our land and home…
Peace now turned to pieces,
Love now hatred,
Democracy now dictatorship.
Dreams of our forefathers
Now nightmares to our children
Our envy now our mockery.
You see,
I can’t seem to understand what went wrong,
My homeland now a wish
As to my neighbour I now seek refuge.
Sleepless and cold nights,
I can’t even look at his eyes as shame now rules my heart and wishes- its servant
The serenity of my home now sold to blood thirsty marauding uniformed gangs.
‘Service to all ‘now ‘service against all’
Weapons of defence, now of offence.
The symphony of our anthem now substituted with the ricocheting of guns,
I wonder what will sprout from the scattered shells.
As the remains of our fallen brothers feed these patient scavengers and their ghosts entertain the serpent.
I hope my grandson is not born in a neighbours’ land
Neither do I hope for his father to marry in it.
But as I hope for a ‘better’ tomorrow’
Out of this land, to where I can dream again in the warmth of my sheets,
And with pride, look into my sons’ eyes,
My allegiance shall forever be sworn to you
Engraved in my heart forever you shall be
With pride I will always proclaim you
Your statutes I shall forever uphold
With honesty I will serve you and your descendants
And with love I shall speak of you.
My Country, My pride.
Tuesday, 23 April 2013
THOUGHTS OF A MAN
When I was young I remember this time when I happened to be in an emotional emergency situation over this lady. I can't lie and say she was not beautiful because she was. I know for most this was enough to be driven crazy but I was not.
There was more to it than what met the eyes. I admired her confidence and modesty ; confidence not in the conventional sense, standing before a crowd and screaming nonsense, but in the way sbe potrayed herself. She knew who she was (and is)
Modesty not in her being conversant with the western lifestyle, but in the appreciation of where she is from. This is what I admire(d).
I couldn't tell her what I thought or felt ( I didn't want to create tension between us). I wanted the situation to remain as it was. The Modesty, The confidence and more so that sense of self assurance in her. I did not want this to decipate. Many would consider this move naive but it was the best decision I ever took.
"Feelings are mutual", my friend once told me, well in this case am not sure if it was so - and I don't want to guess so. I liked the fact that we could sit and talk over hours- or so it seemed, without pausing or pretending to be busy doing something so as to pass time; it just flashed by. I wish there was no concept of time.
Talk about myself, talk about yourself, talk about ourselves - no we did not do that. Talk about politics, no, talk about sweet consuming emotions, no. Can't even tell what we galked about but can tell when.
I like a challenge and sometimes I don't. Well, she was one and in this case am not sure if I liked it or not. A sense of confusion I guess. So elusive she was, one minute before your eyes, the next ...
Time passes and you know you feel differently but you are not sure what or why so your mind casts back for something that might give that difference : a word; a glance, a touch... I remained shaky afterward. Subject to distortion. But entering sophomore year I could feel it growing stronger, sturdier, that honest constant portion of myself, a link between my future and my past.
I could not let this be distorted -though at times I felt it being extinguished and when rekindled, itwas crazy.
All along no word, glance or even a touch would give it that shape -no matter how hard I tried to find one that would.
A rocky feeling - one might say.
" There goes my wife". I don't know what came over me this day. I said these words as she walked in class- to myself, that is. The confidence, modesty, that stride of pride not of what she has but who she is, that soft - is it alto or soprano. I don't know - voice,that always sunk my words whenever she said 'hi' to me. That focus and simplicity that always drew me closer though not enough, that sense of appreciation and complementing even the smallest of actions- attention to detail, blew me off EVERYDAY. How many men would not want to be possesors of this qualities in their homes- in a wife. If you think I am mad for saying what I did. No one, and if there is let him enrol priesthood or papacy or at worse a psychiatric ward. <br>
I did not want to elevate her to the place of a goddess, but with these attributes, I couldn't help, she was one in my eyes. I worship God not her though. <br>
Have you ever seen someone who looks beautiful no matter what she puts on? What if you saw her in a wedding dress? MADNESS.
Anyway, long story short, I am still young.
Monday, 22 April 2013
I Will Wait
I know it seems as eternity that I've been here
Here where no one sees me
Here where no one hears me
Though weary, I will not be cowed by the circumstances
Though fearful, I will not back down
I will wait for storms to calm
I will wait for my time to come
I will wait and not get weary
I will hope and not despair
I will wait for my tormentor
And still wait for my saviour
If you are both I will wait for you
Monday, 23 July 2012
Just a Second
Friday, 1 June 2012
Life Goes On
Sometimes in life you feel as if you've been through much that you feel you cant hold on anymore,you feel that you've lost a lot and the only thing left to loose is you,so much passes by you and if it does get to you it brings only tears,you've got so many questions that you want answered,so many 'WHYS' that you wish 'BECAUSE' a human being, then your heart would be at rest.
At times you may feel as if you've got to the end of the road,and all you hoped for is no longer a hope but a wish, but this doesn't mean that the road you are on is the only road to your destination,you need to believe that as long as you are still alive-at the end of the road-then that's not the end. Most people end up throwing in the towel,and who says that the proverbial towel will stay where you threw it? Someone else will pick it up and you never know how much damage your towel could do them. One thing I do believe in is that no road has an end if you are not the end. When you feel that that's the end of the road,begin constructing your road,shape it according to your desires,let it be as beautiful as you would like,keep in mind that the tractors that construct roads are not the only vehicles that use them,no matter how worn out they may look when doing it,the product ends up to be an envy of many. That road would be used by all types of cars,BMWs, Range Rovers...,name them, with pride and happiness. You are the tractor,and the users may be not only your generations,but all. Imagine if you could be the tractor that refused to go on because it was worn out,but still could do the job,will your generations be proud of you,or have you ever enjoyed a ride on a rugged road? If you are still alive,then don't say that you've lost it all,because you still have what most envy. LIFE GOES ON,KEEP GOING.
(c) Sam Dennis OTIENO